Motherhood

Well, I've survived my first week home w/Shannon. So far, motherhood is easy but I know that once I go back to work and once Wig & I get our own place it's going to become a lot harder. But it turns out I'm a natural born mother. I adapted to having to take care of a newborn almost instantly. I thought it'd take a few days or even weeks to get used to the sleep deprivation, clean up a particularly messy poop without gagging, and learn the different cues and types of cries for hungry, dirty, tired or plain cranky, but from day one none of that was a problem. Shannon is a perfectly healthy and happy baby, and my family has been a very big help. I don't try to take too much advantage of their help because A) they work full-time and have their own things to worry about, they can't watch a newborn all the time and 2) I don't want to get spoiled or complacent and be unprepared once I move out. But when they're home they'll gladly take her long enough to let me shower and eat or take a nap or get some important chore done. My dad who's usually so serious, stoic and strict turns to mush when he holds Shannon. The man who said he wanted to be called "Sir" when we were discussing grandparent nicknames is now a self-proclaimed Grampy and he'll hold her and talk baby talk to her. He's quick to give her back the second she needs to be changed though. And my mom insists on getting in some quality time with her before she leaves or as soon as she gets home for work. Even my sister has to take her for a little bit. But she won't feed or change her either. She just likes to hold her until she starts to get cranky - or starts farting too much.
Wig comes by whenever he can and helps me out, but he's still getting used to the reality of fatherhood. He feels insecure in his ability to be a good father and feels uncomfortable holding Shannon or feeding or changing her. But he is making an effort and soon enough he'll realize he's doing a good job. I feel he'll connect better once she's a little older and more interactive - sitting up, cooing and smiling. Wig takes care of me, though, and that's just as big a help. But for most of the day once my dad leaves for work it's just me and Shannon and I've learned to adapt to doing a lot of things w/just one hand or to work quickly before she wakes up. Once she has a little more neck strength I can put her in the carrier and just strap her to my chest so I have both hands free. I wanted one of those baby slings but they're all either really expensive or really ugly. I think it's a more comfortable and intimate way to carry the baby than the traditional carriers, so hopefully I can find one that works for me at a reasonable price.
Shannon's slowly starting to get on a schedule. She's almost predictable. She'll eat every 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours and usually nap the entire time between. Every so often she gets the urge to cluster feed & want to eat an hour or hour and a half later, but she's more or less predictable. She rarely gets cranky or overtired; she almost only cries when she's hungry or needs to be changed or is being changed or bathed - she hates being naked.
They say to sleep when the baby sleeps, but I can only really do that at night. I have too much of a second wind and running on pure adrenaline to nap during the day. Plus it's the only time I can keep up with housework and other stuff. I'm slowly getting back into crocheting and am working on new amigurumi when I have the free time. Right now I'm working on Pac-man, Ms Pac-man and the ghosts, Chain Chomps from Super Mario and Kirby. I also want to do Metroids and try to make hat versions of some of my amigurumi, particularly the Brain Slug. I also want to make replicas of the kids from South Park's hats, although I know Kenny's is going to be a problem since it's actually a hood. I want to branch out and do actual craft fairs this year. It's going to be a matter of money and balancing it with taking care of Shannon. But I'd probably sell a lot more than I do at the conventions so it could be worth the investment and I can make extra cash to put away in a savings account.
But I'm loving every minute of motherhood so far. Sometimes it's frustrating and tiresome when she wants to eat again, or won't sleep and wants to be held indefinately, but it's worth it for that look she gives me when I'm holding her. A working schedule is developing and will be in place within weeks and I'll have a normal life again - just with added baby.

Birth Annoucement

Wow, I really suck at blogging. I promised I'd blog all through the pregnancy w/updates but working at the new Toys R Us Express really sucked up a lot of my time since I ended up working 8 hour shifts 5 days a week, then of course preparing for the baby, sleeping, squeezing in as much of a social life as possible, and other tasks. So it's understandable I didn't have the time to type up a blog. There wasn't much of interest to post anyway; my pregnancy was the easiest & most inconsequential pregnancy ever. Nothing happened. I found out it was a girl, I got a bigger bump, she moved around a lot. But the delivery is quite a story, so here I am finally blogging.

So Shannon was due on the 23rd. Everyone had bets on when she'd actually be born. My mom wanted her to come on her birthday, the 21st. The most popular prediction was Christmas Eve. Even a psychic my mom sees regularly said the 24th.
The 23rd came & went. So did the 24th and I got through Christmas Day without a twinge. Then at about 1230 in the morning on the 26th I got up to pee & had bright red bloody show. A mild cramping soon followed & we headed to the hospital. While I was under observation for about an hour/hour & a half they became definite contractions, not very intense but regularly spaced 5 minutes apart. However, my cervix didn't dilate at all and I was still at only 1cm so they sent me home to wait out the early labor stages.
Now a massive blizzard was heading down to us later that day, so we were dreading that my labor would intensify during the worst part of the storm. I took a warm bath and shower and was able to doze a little, but the contractions continued to come. They weren't so bad early in the morning - like menstrual cramps, maybe a little more painful, something I could easily grit my teeth & wait out, but as the day wore on and the snow started falling they gradually got more uncomfortable. The pain didn't get worse but the pressure against my rectum and pelvis were tough to sit through. I was contemplating whether I would be able to wait it out through the night & go to the hospital the next day during the tail end of the storm. So far, my water still hadn't broken and there was no sign of further dilation. Finally, more bloody show was appearing and the contractions were so uncomfortable that we braved the storm and headed to Winchester. The roads were treacherous & visibility very low, but we made it there safely & as soon as I was checked I was 3cm dilated. Finally things were moving along.
I was hoping I'd be able to hold out & have a natural birth, but the combination of pain & pressure from the contractions were getting to much and I broke down & got the epidural. I'm so glad I did. It made it so I didn't feel a single contraction and I was able to sleep. Well, I would've been able to sleep if I didn't have this thing where I never sleep well in other beds (I never fall completely asleep at hotels either). But I dozed enough. They had pull-out bed for Wig & he slept like a log the whole night.
My cervix continued to dilate steadily throughout the night but my water never broke. At about 7AM Monday morning the doctor broke my water and I began to try to deliver my daughter. It was tough. Sometimes I could feel the pressure and need to bear down w/the contractions but other times I had to go by the doctor reading the monitor that said when I had a contraction. I was pushing well, and I was expecting Shannon to come out any minute but after an hour of pushing the doctor checked her head position & said her head was not able to pass through the pelvic bone & molding was starting. On top of that there was meconium & I had a low-grade fever & infection so all those factors led to csection. I was wheeled into the OR and prepped. Wig looked so adorable in his scrubs. He was so fascinated with the whole procedure and the fact that I was so numb I didn't feel a single thing while they rooted in my wide opened stomach cavity. Then at 9:48AM, Shannon officially came into the world kicking and screaming, weighing 7lb 12oz and 20 3/4 inches long.
They wisked her away to Special Care to treat her w/antibiotics and it took me neary 4 hours to finally see my little girl. But it was worth the wait. Everyone sees a little bit of someone else in her. I think she has Wig's nose & ears, others say she looks like me or my sister. Some say she has my mom's chin. She already has quite the personality. I'm so glad I have her. She's the best Christmas gift I ever got.