So I finally told my parents today. They were more disappointed and concerned about financial stability than anything else. They said themselves they can't be mad, we're adults and at least I'm 25 and not 18 like she was. But they're worried about Wig and I holding down jobs and paying bills while raising a child. The news about my supervisor position eased a little bit of the concern, but it won't be enough. They feel bad that they can't support us the way my grandparents supported them when they were pregnant with me. But they'll be emotionally supportive and do what they can. My grandparents will throw some money my way. I'm not expecting the ride on their coattails. But they took it somewhat well, as well as one can when their eldest daughter who's not yet married, in dire finanical straits w/tons of student loan debt and still living at home tells you she's pregnant. They're secretly excited to be grandparents, I think, but the timing is bad and my situation could be better. At least it's not worse and it is slowly improving.
After telling them, I immediately posted it on FaceBook. I was dying to announce it to the world but couldn't because my mom would see. Perhaps I did it too soon because my aunt was the first to see and her reaction was "EXCUSE ME?!" my mom was like "Why'd you have to go announcing it on FaceBook already?! The phone's ringing off the hook!" Then later she pokes back in and says "Your father's calling all his friends" so he must be somewhat excited. But the outpouring of comments were 99% positive, all congratulations except for my aunt's incredulty and my "uncle" Chris was like "congrats? I'm going to be a great uncle!" A couple of me and Wig's mutual friends IMed me on FaceBook. Greg, who's in Afghanistan right now, was very supportive, Katie aka K-Fon was like "WTF?" and suggested abortion before I mentioned that our financial situation was improving, so she offered both her congratulations and condolences and let us decide which to take.
Wig told his brother and Guru and he said that Guru told him it was the worst time to have a baby and said "my condolences" which surprised me because as a father, I thought Guru would give Wig the old "It's a lot of hard work and scary but worth it" speech. My theory is Guru knows how Wig feels and said what Wig needed to hear. Guru's wife Lindsey was very excited for me on FaceBook. But of course, women and men handle pregnancy very differently. Wig said Gahmstead said more or less the same as Guru. While Gahm isn't one to be all mooshy about stuff like this, I was hoping he'd be a little more supportive while still voicing concern about finanical issues and how it would affect the band and everything else. Again, he's probably just saying what Wig wants to hear. I know that while Gahm is not one to immediately come off as a baby person, he was rather excited and involved w/Seamus' birth and seemed to revel in the fact that he was his godfather, so he's got a soft side. While he may think having a baby this soon is a bad idea for us, he'll probably be supportive and play his role as uncle. Wig hasn't told any of his other friends yet or his parents. I know the reactions are going to be mixed. But his friends and family are going to be the few people actively against this pregnancy. So far none of my friends have had a negative reaction and my parents, while concerned and disappointed, are not forcing me to abort it or put it up for adoption and are standing by my decision to keep it. We have more support than dissent, and that's a positive sign that things will work out for us. It's still going to be hard but I know we can work it out. People with less than us have made it, I keep reminding myself that. We have more than we thought we would've.

Training for my new supervisor position should start next week. I also have ConnectiCon next weekend. Then the Stoneham store is opening I think the 3rd week of July. It's going to be exciting.

First Ultrasound

I had my first ultrasound yesterday, and it turn out I'm already 13 1/2 weeks along! I'm due December 23rd. As much as I'm dying to tell my mom, I don't want to ruin this weekend. I can't drop a bombshell like this and then be like "Well, I'm off to Maine!" They'd either be like "You can't go to a convention! You have to save money for the baby and you shouldn't be travelling in your condition!" Then they'd be worried about me all weekend. If I tell them next Monday then we'll have plenty of time to sit down and discuss my course of action. I'm expecting more shock than anger. They'll be disappointed that I let something like this happen too soon, but they already know from personal experience that even when you're careful, accidents happen. I mean that's how I got here. So they can't be pissed at me. It's not like I did it on purpose. Their main concern will be my financial situation. They're going to ask how I'm going to afford to get my own place - because there's no room here for an extra baby and for Wig to move in w/me - and raise a child while trying to pay student loans. They don't have the money to spare to help support me but I know my grandparents do, but I feel guilty and selfish just assuming they will lend that kind of money, even though I'm sure I will. I'm already actively looking for a full-time job and I know Toys R Us will give me extra hours if they can spare them in the meantime - and if all else fails, there's that supervisor position at the Holiday Express when it opens. But I already have a response to one of my applications that looks promising. I had another call-back but it ended up a no-go as they were looking for someone with definitive classroom experience. At least they called back. Wig might have a lead at Stop & Shop. It's the dreaded "We'll call you back" period where you don't know whether they will or not. But they are hiring now, and last month when Wig first applied they called him in 4 times for mini-interviews before telling him they weren't hiring 'til June, so it's a better lead than some of the roads he's tried to take in the past.
The hardest part right now is dealing with Wig's depression and anger. He can't get over the fact that he truly believes he's just going to snap and that this is the end of his life as he knows it. No matter what I say or do I can't convince him that everything will work out for us, and that I know he's too good a person to become an abusive bad father. He's going to get worse when he sees the ultrasound picture and I tell him how far along I really am. He wouldn't let me bring it up last night. I know he'll come around, it's just how long before he does. Is he going to be miserable the entire pregnancy? I need him to remain his sweet, romantic self or else I'm going to fall to pieces. This is the happiest time of my life and I want nothing more to share that with him but he can't relate. I wish he could've been there for the ultrasound. It hurts that I was alone for my first glimpse at my baby. I just hope he's there for the first movements too - that they don't happen before we can move in together or happen at work or something. And of course he HAS to be there for the next ultrasound and when I find out the baby's gender. Which I'm convinced is going to be a boy. My first appointment with the ob/gyn isn't until July 19th so it's going to be a long wait. But so far I've felt fine and the baby looks normal on the ultrasound so I don't think I have anything to worry about. I think it's amazing that he's only 3 inches long right now but he already has fingerprints! No crime in the womb, they'll be able to track him. You could say he already has a big head like Wig but their heads are always larger at this stage of development. It might normal out as his body grows, we'll see.
I'm slowly telling everyone. It's tough to have to wait to let some people know but I've told Flav, everyone who was working yesterday, and all my online acquaintanes at Expansion Mansion and the CreateCrochet Etsy team. So far nothing but support and happiness. Wig is the only one against this pregnancy, so far. I'm sure some of his friends and relatives will have a negative reaction too, but the general consensus is that this is a good thing, just a little ill-timed but not impossible to pull off. I have the support of possibly hundreds of people so I feel secure. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I'm glad I won't be alone.