Hi! This is Vince with a lawsuit against Scientology

So tonight I've come across the most bizarre bit o' information in the entire interwebs. Thanks to TV personality Olivia Munn's obsession with the SlapChop, I gathered from the comments that Vince, with his buggy eye and unneccesary headset, has an ongoing lawsuit with the Cult -er - Church of Scientology. Sounds made up? Of course it does. But it's a litle too elaborate for someone to make up. And who in their right mind would think ShamWow + Scientology + Underground Comedy Movie + Lawsuit = Awesome rumor

A comment on heyolivia.com led me to this blog -http://skepchick.org/blog/?p=5490 that has the whole story. I googled that shit to confirm it - I mean as much as you can confirm something on the internet (if the same exact story exists in numerous sources - especially reputable sources - it's usually true). You'll have to read the whole thing for yourself, but I'll give you a quick rundown:

His full name is Vince Offer - and that isn't even his REAL name. His real first name is Offer (apparently it's Israeli, he said in an interview his dad was Israeli. Shlomi might be his real last name according to a Scientology website I found but I can't confirm that) and he was a Scientologist. In the 90s he started making The Underground Comedy Movie with a handful of fellow scientologist actors. The Scientologists fucked him over royally in retaliation against the movie and ruined his movie career and his business. So he started selling some kitchen products at flea markets and swap meets until he came across the ShamWow and the SlapChop - both products he outright owns - and began selling them on infomercials. He also realized he could sell the Underground Comedy Movie via infomercial, which despite the fact that it's considered one of the worst movies ever made and is the most offensive movie ever made, has sold very well. So he is using funds raised by the sales of these 3 products to pay for his ongoing lawsuit against the Church of Scientology for almost ruining his movie, ruining his business and nearly ruining his life.

Also, back in the 90s he sued Anna Nicole Smith for backing out of her contract for the movie and the Farrelly brothers for allegedly stealing scenes from Underground Comedy Movie for use in There's Something About Mary. The Farrellys are like "We never even heard of him or his movie"

So buy the ShamWow and the SlapChop. Even by the Underground Comedy Movie if you like extremely crude, offensive b-movie quality sketch comedy. Support a man's right to stand up to a made-up religion for fucking him over. I'll never look at those commercials the same way again

Absorbing the Hate

Heavens to Etsy!

Yeah like I'm not the first person in the history of that website to make that joke. Anyway...

I just made my first Etsy sale! Yay! Some nice gal in Ohio bought my wood bead hemp anklet. I say it's about time, I've had the jewelry up since October. But I guess people are not as quick to purchase something so easy to make as friendship and hemp bracelets. I was sure the guitar pick earrings would sell fast since they're just so sweet but *shrug* I'm hoping the crocheted stuff will start to pick up, especially the amigurumi, because while they are in theory easy to make (most patterns are just single crochet stitches done in a spiral) they're time-consuming to make and frustrating if you lose count or your stitch marker falls out (you don't know how many rows I've had to redo...). Right now I'm working on a slime (from the video game series Dragon Quest aka Dragon Warrior) amigurumi, but this particular one is a late birthday gift for Gahmstead. I'm going to make more though, but I think I'm going to relegate them only to selling at the anime conventions this summer because the person who made the pattern is on Etsy and I don't want her to recognize her pattern and get upset that I'm technically using it for profit. I'm still working on the Waldo scarf. I haven't done much more work on it this week because I was preoccupied doing other things, then I picked up the slime the past 2 nights. But I should get that done soon. Then maybe another Gryffindor scarf while I still have tons of crimson and gold. A better one this time. Maybe I'll copy Flav and do one in the newer style (it's only fair...she copied the Gryffindor scarf from me first LOL) And of course, more amigurumi. I think I'll eventually gain much success selling the amigurumi - especially at conventions. If I can find or come up with patterns for a lot of the more popular anime and video game plushies, they'll sell like hotcakes at the conventions because people would rather buy cheaper handmade ones than the commercial ones that can go for up to $25-$30. I also have to make some more jewelry. I haven't made any since the Christmas gifts I made. Since those take a lot less time, I should just take one evening and crank out a good chunk of earrings and bracelets. The good thing is I have until May to stock up for the first convention (AnimeBoston).

So I mentioned earlier this week that Wig and Gahmstead's band, Umbilical Cord, would be playing at a concert in memory of their friend Joe who died last September. Yeah, well, last night they were told they were not playing. This wouldn't be such a huge kick in the ass if it wasn't planned for months and on top of that, Joe's brother Chris was saying all week how he wanted Wig andGahm to play this one particular song - that they spent all week learning. But Chris wasn't calling the shots, it was his cousin, so I can only surmise that he didn't take Umbilical Cord into consideration when planning the concert. Still, as Joe's brother, Chris could've stepped in and said something. I mean, I don't think any of these bands had a close connection to Joe (although I wouldn't be surprised if they did personally know him, this kid did nothing but go to concerts) and Wig and Gahm were close friends. I wonder if they even tried to get the band Hostile Takeover - they knew Joe really well. Maybe it did have to do with the fact that Umbilical Cord still isn't a full band, but it shouldn't because that hasn't stopped them before and their music can hold its own without a drummer (although it does help). Whatever the reason lies in Joe's cousin, not his brother. I'm actually surprised it was a cousin planning the whole thing, I thought Chris had a lot more to do with it. If he did, this problem would'nt have arisen and we'd have some more material for Umbilical Cord. But shit happens. On the bright side, I have 25 Umbilical Cord business card magnets to give out. So if you want to see a really bizarre band logo on your fridge everyday and be reminded of the website address let me know.

Testy

So after much deliberation about whether to play it safe and apply for a preliminary license or to just go for the initial license, I went for the initial license and paid the damn $100 fee today. I love how it costs less for a license to operate a potentially dangerous vehicle than it does to teach. I guess it's the need for extensive background checks to make sure they're not giving a total pyscho pedophile a teaching license that makes it so steep. I would've had to do it no matter what, so I can't really complain. It's another step completed toward starting an actual career.

Then tonight I took the Jeopardy online test. I didn't do as well as I thought I would. It's all luck of the draw what questions you're gonna get and I got some crappy questions. The thing that sucks the most is that one question was on the author of the book Out of Africa, which was referenced in the book Alex and Me which I JUST READ YESTERDAY!!! and I couldn't remember pseudonym the author wrote it under. And I couldn't run and look it up in Alex and Me because I only had 15 seconds to answer. I don't know when the test results will be sent to me, but I'm not too concerned about whether I passed or not. Even if I passed I still have a very slim chance to actually get on Jeopardy, so I'm not going to get my hopes up. Still, it doesn't hurt to try, so there's always next time they have an online test.

Also, Wig finally ordered my engagement ring today. It kind of loses its surprise and romanticism when I actually picked it out, but we're not very traditional, plus it wasn't going to be much of a surprise anyway. We had decided a long time ago that we were going to get married, it was just a matter of waiting until I was out of college, got a good job, and we could afford to move in together. So I always knew he'd propose, it was just when. Plus I'd rather pick out something I'd like since I'd be wearing it every day for the rest of my life (although I can trust Wig's choices, he knows my tastes). The ring itself isn' a traditional engagement ring either. My sister is making fun of me because A)I had to tell Wig what ring to get and 2) because I picked it out of the Pyramid Collection catalogue and it's only $70. Whatever. It's not how much it's worth, it's what it symbolizes. We wouldn't even bother with a ring and a proposal since we're already definitely getting married, but I like to be a little traditional and I want a new piece of jewelry to mark this milestone in our relationship.

Which brings me to another point, Wig and I have always wanted to keep the anniversary of our first date, September 9, as our wedding date. Last year we were saying how cool it would be to get married on 9/9/09 but I was trying to think realistically about cost and planning and wanting to be able to move in with my new husband after the wedding and not being able to afford all that just 9 months from now. But when the topic came up again last week, Wig was adamant about having that date and said he'd do anything he could to make it happen. So save the date, it's likely I'll be getting married on 9/9/09. It's going to be a medium-small ceremony. I want most of my family and friends there, but it doesn't have to be fancy, extravagant or expensive. Ironically, my mom also brought up the fact that she knows an aging Justice of the Peace that has a large gazebo in his backyard and has offered to marry me and/or Heather. I think my mom knows him because he's a patient at the office she works at. She had mentioned him years ago and I forgot until she brought it up again last Sunday, saying that we (my sister and I) need to get married before he kicks the bucket so we could use his gazebo. Then we could have the reception at Anthony's or the Marconi Club which are both owned by family. And my dress doesn't have to be more than $100. I want something medieval or Victorian looking - something just from another time. There are a couple dresses from Pyramid Collection I like, but I'm not above checking out David's Bridal and their $99 sales. I don't know what I'd do for my bridesmaids. I still want a maid of honor and bridesmaids because there's my sister, Wig's sister, my cousin and my closest and oldest friends I'd like to be part of the ceremony. I'm definitely not going to make them wear ugly dresses, I promise. So I got some planning to do. I hope I can pull it off. If not this year, next year is definite.

But on that note, I leave you with a quote from Zoidberg on Futurama "I've had it with this game. I'm going for a scuttle."

Paul Geary doesn't have it this hard

So Wig and Gahmstead have a gig this coming Friday. It'll be the first performance for Umbilical Cord since Medford High's "Night of Noise" (a battle of the bands type show hosted by the Gay/Straight Alliance who were nothing but a bunch of whiny "I have to have things my way" fuckheads) in Gahm's seinor year. The show is a memorial concert for their friend Joe Tilton, who died unexpectedly of a heart attack last September. This show is something Joe's family - specifically his brother and cousin - has been trying to get going since the wake, and it's finally been set for Friday, January 30th at 7PM at the Sons of Italy in Woburn. Umbilical Cord is not the only band playing, and the big problem is I can't get any other information about the show. Is it open to the public or is it just family and friends? Is there a cover charge? Is there a website or information on MySpace? Who else is playing? And Wig was supposed to ask Chris, Joe's brother and Chris said he didn't have any new information, but that's because Wig's an idiot and didn't ask the right questions. But there's nothing on the Joe memorial MySpace page, Chris' MySpace page is private, there's nothing on Joe's cousin's MySpace page and Sons of Italy doesn't have a website. How are you a business and not have a website in the 21st century? So now I'm doing my job as Miss "Behind the Scenes of Umbilical Cord" doing the not-so-fun stuff that keeps the band running. As unofficial temporary manager and official PR and Promotions and Everything-Else person I got to keep the website updated and do publicity and promotional advertisement and such. Which means I'm now on a wild goose chase for information on the show - at least until Wig gets out of work tonight and I can talk to him and see if he got any more details out of Chris. But it looks like I got some headway now - I found the MySpace pages of a couple of the other bands playing at the show: a Godsmack cover band called Smack This and a Stone Temple Pilots cover band called Big Bang Baby. Smack This had a picture of the show's flyer on their page but it was too small to read all the band names and details. But now I know at least 3 other bands that are playing and that the cover is $20. So if you like metal, knew Joe, and aren't doing anything Friday night and have 20 bucks, come see the show. More information will be available at www.umbilicalcordtheband.com either tonight or tomorrow.

Nap-tastic and bird talk

*yawn* My body enjoys sleep too much. My mind's all like, "Wake up!" and my body goes "No! Too comfy, roll over!" At least I have an excuse for my extensive napping the past two days - I picked up an early-morning stock shift both yesterday and today (6AM-10AM) which means I had to get up at 4AM two days in a row. It's just tough to get back up when you've been cozy dozy for a few hours.

So I'm reading a book my grandmother got me about Alex, the African Grey parrot that for the last 30 years proved that parrots can do more than just mimic, they can understand what they're talking about. It's a real interesting read, even if you're not into parrots. It's extremely funny and some parts are sad since this was written by Alex's ower and trainer, Irene Pepperberg, after Alex died in Sept of 2007 at the somewhat young for a parrot age of 31. (African Greys can live to be 50). It also reminds me of my parrots, Squawker and Chicky, who we adopted off to other people when our hectic lives caused them attention deprivation. Chicky didn't care too much cuz she was kind of a loner for a bird. She enjoyed attention but didn't need it, whereas Squawker needed 24 hour attention as most breeds of conure do. He eventually started self-plucking, a very common psychological disorder in captive birds. The good thing is that both birds are very happy in their new homes. Chicky lives with my dad's friend/coworker/my mom's cousin's husband's parents literally two blocks away so we could actuall visit her if we wanted to (Dave's parents actually paid for the gender testing to confirm my suspicions all these years that Chicky was female, even though we referred to her as a he all that time cuz we weren't sure and was going by her previous owner's assumptions) Squawker is with a man who owns numerous other parrots in a small private aviary, so not only does he have an owner who can give him a lot of proper attention, he has feathered friends now to keep him entertained. I forget where he lives but it's someplace kind of far but not too far, like New Hampshire, or the North Shore or western Mass.

But anyway, Chicky wasn't much of a talker, she could say "Hi!" and would repeatedly to anyone who walked in the door. Her forte was sound effects including everyone's favorite zipper impression. Squawker knew various phrases, but he didn't have the same intelligence as Alex. He was smart on his own level, though. While I don't think he had a full understanding of what he was saying, he was observant enough to see the cues of when certain phrases were said. For example, he would go on a squawking spree and then spontaneouly tell himself to "shut up!" or say "how are you?" to someone who just walked in the door (although he would also start saying "how are you" randomly to get people's attention. He'd also scream "Cut the shit!" if anyone was arguing. But he was smart enough to convey his wants, needs and feelings in other ways when he didn't know the words. He had a specific squawk for different wants, fears or if a sound went off (ie, the phone ringing squawk, the "OMG THERE'S A VACUUM CLEANER!!" squawk, "I want whatever you're eating" squawk and the "Play with me!" squawk.) So he basically taught us the proper response to his squawks the way we'd teach him to talk...But he had a personality unlike any other pet bird I've known. He tried to be as human as possible. He even mimicked laughter whenever we laughed. (He confused sobbing with laughter too which sometimes lightened up sad situations. Imagine bawling your eyes out, but this mitred conure's sitting in the corner chuckling). He loved music, and would actually headbang to hard rock. He particularly liked Back in Black by AC/DC, Wango Tango by Ted Nugent and Little Willy by Sweet. He was also a very affectionate bird. He trusted and loved my dad the most, mainly because he had the longest relationship with him. Ever since his previous owner, a cowork of my dad's, brought him to work all the time, Squawker took to my dad. One event sealed this trust. Danny brought Squawker to work and said "Look I clipped his wings!" and Squawker took off flying. This was when my dad still worked at a car dealership on the Malden/Melrose line and Squawker flew to the nearby Mt Hood Golf Course. Everyone took off following him and found him in a tree on the golf course. Squawker was so terrified he bit the hell out of Danny when he tried to get him out of the tree. Squawker would only go to my dad for some reason. So when Danny moved to Maine and had no working heat for the first 6 months in his new home, my dad was the first and only choice for bird sitter. Squawker quickly took to my mom and me in that time too. He moved back with Danny for about a year or two until Danny's girlfriend (Squawker and Lisa mutally hated each other) had enough and Squawker came back to live with us permanently (while Squawker was back with Danny, we got another mitred conure, Buddy who was retarded and shortly after went to live with a lady in a wheelchair and Chicky to fill the void Squawker left). In the 6-8 years we had Squawker, he really took to my mom and he gained a lot of trust in me too. The only one he didn't really like was Heather. He'd chase her whenever he was out of his cage (even upstairs, it was funny to see her run screaming up the stairs and then see him slowly pull himself up). But he loved to play with us and he'd show his affection by climbing up to your shoulder and nuzzling you with his beak. He had his neuroses like a lot of birds: he had an obsession with towels, and they were a security blanket of sorts. He loved burrowing under them and playing with him, if you couldn't get him to climb on your arm or go back in his cage you could scoop him up with a towel, and it was the only thing you could hold him with when he was getting his wings clipped. Also, he would snap if you made any strange noises and snap at you; if you were a few feet away when you made the noise he'd charge at you with his beak open ready to bite. It was kind of funny. Dr Pepperberg's relationship with Alex, who learned to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you" and mean it just gets me reminiscing about Squawker, even though he wasn't much like Alex. Squawker just had such a unique personality. Even if I got another mitred conure it wouldn't be the same. You'd have to be a bird aficionado to really understand though.

Anyway, that's enough rambling about parrots. I'm going to Friday's with Flav in a little bit and probably going to work on some crafts and get some good pictures of my Gryffindor scarf. So yay.

Crafty Craft

So I FINALLY finished the Brain Slug and posted it today on Etsy. I would've posted the long-waiting jumbo Gryffindor scarf tonight too but it's tough to get a decent picture of myself modelling the scarf even with the self-timer. I can only put the camera on top of my TV or my Wii to get the right height when using the self-timer and the light's reflected in the poster behind me causing crappy glare. So I'm gonna ask Flav tomorrow or Wig Wednesday to help me get better pics, then I'll post that. The Gryffindor scarf only took so long to post in the first place because I initially wanted to make a matching hat and mittens and sell it as a set - differentiate it from the dozens of other Gryffindor scarves on the site. But I wasn't happy with the mitten pattern I had and was too busy with other projects and holiday stuff to look for patterns so at this point I'm like "fuck it" and am just going to sell the scarf by itself. But I've been preoccupied with work and random shit so I got to get cracking on crafting. Especially since I got to look for a full-time job to afford to pay these student loans and once I get another job I'll probably have less time. Right now I'm finishing projects too slowly, I gotta get on the ball. I also need to make some new jewelry, I haven't made anything since before Christmas. But that stuff is quick to make so I should be able to chug out a bunch of pieces in one day. So expect to finally see some more action on my Etsy.

Apparently, fail is everywhere

So this is an actual screen-cap of a window that pops up when you don't qualify for an OTX survey (commonly associated w/MyPoints, e-Rewards, InboxDollars and other survey for money sites). Is the intrawebs so rife with fail that they have to point it out so blatantly? Also, this isn't even technically fail. It's not like I suck at taking surveys. I didn't even know Survey Fail existed until today. At least it's not Epic Survey Fail. That'd be hard to live down.

Anyway, life has been pretty inconsequential the past couple days. I've been working, and yesterday I hung w/Der Flav. We went to Jo-Ann Fabrics and Friendly's, where we were apparently served by a Lizard...

I'm trying to finish more craft projects so I can finally put something else on Etsy, but it's so hard to find time, and when I have time, to find the motivation. There's always something else to do, or I'm too tired. I just have to glue the eye on the Brain Slug, so that can go up tomorrow, and I started a new scarf, a red and white striped homage to Waldo of Where's Waldo fame. I also want to make teeny scarves out of leftover yarn for pets and dolls. I got the idea at Wig's house. I had a very small amount of blue left and his youngest cat Nibbler is just sitting there on his lap being retardedly adorable as usual and I said "I know, I'll make a scarf for Nibbler. A kitty scarf" But I didn't have enough blue yarn left for even that. But the idea stuck. People dress their pets in ridiculous things all the time, how 'bout cat and dog-sized scarves? They'd also be suitable for dolls and teddy bears...*shrug* It's something for the the little balls of leftover yarn that aren't big enough for anything else.

So I'm going to continue work on my Waldo scarf as I watch Stargate. I've never seen it all the way through, but I got it for mad cheap at FYE last week. (see http://nocturnalinfernal.blogspot.com/2009/01/coupon-whore-strikes-again.html).

Sundays are usually spent with Wiggy. I have mixed feelings about having tomorrow off. Sure it's nice to not have to go into work (especially when it's going to snow AGAIN), I get to sleep in, watch Phantom Gourmet and get some stuff done before going to Wig's. But on the other hand, I'd rather work tomorrow since it's time and a half and have a different day off. Especially when hours are still bad and I'm down to three days again this week.

WTF? Richard Kind - the obnoxious guy from Mad About You and Spin City - is in Stargate? I also saw French Stewart's (squinty-face guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun) name in the credits too. Ran...dom...And now I leave you with that useless bit of information

License to trill

So today I found the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (are they getting paid by the letter? Cuz what was the point of changing it from Department of Education to the deliciously verbose new version?) so I could look for the necessary information on obtaining my teaching license. A very useful website, which is rare for government websites because they're usually extremely difficult to navigate. Anyway, I already knew the 2 main requirements: receive a Bachelor's degree and pass the MTEL (Massachusetts Test for Education Licensure) but I wasn't sure if there was anything else, like if you had to do so many hours of student teaching or whatnot, and of course where to apply for the license.
Well, there's the preliminary license and the initial license. Both are valid for 5 years, but the preliminary is for those who have not yet completed an "approved educator preparation program." With just my Bachelor's degree and my passing scores on the MTEL I can get a preliminary. So then I checked under the initial license requirements and besids the degree and MTEL passing it says "completion of a Massachsetts Music: vocal/instrumental/general all levels approved program" so I clicked on this for the list of approved program and it says Berklee College of Music baccalaureate. I'm like "WTF is baccalaureate? Is that just a fancy Latin word for Bachelor's degree?" Of course I gotta double-check so I go to dictionary.com and sho' nuff, baccalaureate is just another word for Bachelor's degree. And that's what I've been doing at Berklee for the last 6 years, doing Bachelor's degree courses in music education. So I've already completed the so-called approved program, got my degree and passed both halves of the MTEL. So I guess I can get my initial license. I think I might ask my grandmother for some more info, tips and advice since she used to be a teacher. The only snag is she started teaching in the 1960s and retired 5 years ago, rules and requirements have changed, so I don't know how much she's going to know. At the least I could just run through the application process and see what happens. I'm not in too much of a rush, I probably wouldn't get hired until the start of the new school year anyway, I don't think anyone would hire a new teacher with 5 months left in the school year. Also, I already have an in with one of the local schools so I don't need to rush to snag rare teaching openings or things like that. I have to rush a little because I've been overdue to start my career and I got student loans to pay and I'd like to finally move out and get married.
I'm still kind of wary about going straight into a classroom, especially after the negative experience with my proficiency. I know I got the skills, I'm just rusty because I haven't done anything music-ed related in over a year. I still have all my notes and books and the infinite reference of the interwebs to brush up with, but I think I'd be more comfortable if I could get some student teaching hours or start off as a teacher's aide or assistant teacher. If chorus teacher David Seaman stayed on, that's what would've happened. I would've been his aide for a year or two then I would've taken over for him. What happened was he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder a few years ago (I forget which), and was in the hospital for a long time with complete loss of speech and mobility. His speech came back pretty quickly but he never regained full mobility, but came back to teach in a wheelchair for a while then abruptly quit about a year, year and a half ago and nothing the city could say or do would bring him back. It's a shame because he was an awesome teacher, one of my favorites when I was doing observations (how many other teachers are going to listen to Denis Leary with you in his car on his lunch break? LOL).

So I got a lot of good on my side. It looks like I'm all set to apply for my license, I have a school principle who wants to give me a job - especially since he wants to get rid of this cunt-like vocal and general music teacher that no one likes, and I got plenty of resources to brush up and practice my teaching skills with and the support of a former teacher grandmother. Holy shnizz, are things going to finally work out?! WOW!

Delicious Fat-food

KFC's double chocolate chip cakes are the win.

So, the credit issue on my graduation evaluation seems to have righted itself over the weekend, because Kenn Brass replied to me and said everything was where it should be and when I looked at it again, he was right. But it was DEFINITELY missing last Friday when Grace Aldrich mentioned it. But I can't complain, that means I don't have to panic anymore.

Seriously, for the past couple of years I've wondered if going to Berklee was a huge mistake. On the one hand, I've been dicked over a bunch of times: The vast majority of required courses for the Music Ed major have only one scheduled class which filled up quickly, meaning there were a bunch of courses I couldn't take when I was supposed to - on top of that there were courses you had to take before you could take other courses, this all made some things take longer to complete. Then on top of that was the issue with the Music Ed proficiency. This covered everything: I had to do a solo on my principle instrument, demonstrate basic knowledge of one woodwind and one brass instrument and piano, conduct a vocal arrangement, demonstrate the vocal ranges, do a powerpoint presentation for a lesson unit, and teach a children's song by rote. I failed the solo, rote song, powerpoint and conducting despite the fact that I felt I did OK. When I went to make it up, I still didn't do too well on the solo and the rote song, and the Music Ed chair, Cecil Adderly basically said I wasn't going to graduate as a Music Ed major and to switch to Pro Music. He wasn't even going to give me another chance. He made it seem like I was unfit to teach, but it was just nerves. It's one thing when it's little kids but another when it's a panel of professionals scrutinizing your every move. And maybe I wasn't ready to teach then, but now I've had some time to work things out and will probably do better if given another chance. So anyway, I switched to Pro Music, but instead of the one more semester of student teaching I would've had under the Music Ed requirements, I now had 2 more semesters because there were 2 classes I needed to complete for Pro Music and I couldn't take them at the same time, I had to take one before I could take the other.

The good thing about that though was the last class I would've had to take, Final Project Seminar, Kenn Brass the Pro Music chair AND teacher of the Final Project Seminar literally told me I did NOT have to take the class, I could do the project on my own time and just check in in his office hour and submit the project for credit. He's like, "You don't need it, save yourself a couple of grand." So while I still had to wait out the extra semester and work on a project to be eligible for graduation, I at least didn't have to pay for an extra semester. That man is the shit. He is the best person at Berklee. I wish I'd known Pro Music was an option, like, 4 years ago, I would've done that instead of crawling through the Music Ed timeline with all it's speed bumps, and I probably would've been done sooner and with less stress. But they still haven't perfected the time machine, so I have to accept the fact that I had to deal with some bullshit.

The one thing I don't regret about going to Berklee is the experience. If I had gone to UMass Boston, the other college I was accepted to, I wouldn't have gotten a concentrated music repertoire and I wouldn't have become a better musician. Thanks to Berklee, I now better understand music theory and am a better keyboard player and can play clarinet pretty well and know the basics of trumpet and flute even though I didn't pick those up as easily as clarinet. And of course, I gained a lot of knowledge about the philosophy of education and lots of tips and skills for teaching. Then there's the handful of really cool teachers I had and the friends I used to hang out with on the Beach (the stretch of sidewalk in front of the 150 Mass Ave building where everyone hung out and smoked between classes). I've lost contact with all but Zac in New Jersey who I still talk to on the phone at least once a month and I got to see when I went to AnimeNext in Jersey last July and Catherine who used to live in Springfield but now lives in New York who I used to IM all the time but I have her friended on FaceBook now.
So while I was raped of 6 years of my life and more than $60 grand of my money (and my parents' and grandparents' cuz they pitched in), I did still learn a lot and had a pretty good time going there. Plus I have bragging rights. While many people consider Berklee students to be pretentious jazz players, there's a lot of people who are awestruck whenever they hear I go to Berklee, since it's such a famous school. So it'll look really good on my resume for anything music-related.

Anyway, today I worked for 4 hours and then hung out w/Flav as I do every Tuesday. My friend and former co-worker from Toys R Us Medford Jill got a really good quality bootleg copy of Twilight and made me a copy. Then my co-worker Lars gave me a burned CD of a band call Powerglove who makes rearrangements of video game music in, like, speed metal style. It's Children of Bodom meets the NES. So hurray for free stuff. But I left Twilight under my register and I'm not working til Thursday night. Maybe I'll swing up there real quick tomorrow to grab it so I don't have to wait 2 days. Heather will be more interested in it than me. I saw the movie in the theater and thought it was really well made and very close to the book but I can't imagine watching it over and over. The books are good but they're not rave worthy. But Heather loves it.

Tonight Flav and I got BK and KFC - she got BK and I got KFC, not both of us getting both, we're not fat kids - and watched YouTube Poops and Shamwow parodies. Tomorrow I'm hanging out w/Wig as I do every Wednesday and lovin's shall ensue.

I would totally order the Hard & Heavy CD collection, but I already have like, 90% of the songs on there either on the original CDs, Best of albums or other compliations. But the free bonus DVD w/Bret Michaels is very tempting. How can I order just that?? I'll wait like a year and someone will trade it in to Newbury Comics or sell it on eBay I guess.

But now I'm going to continue watching reruns of classic South Park episodes and then I'm gonna go to bed. I've been really tired lately and my body doesn't like to get up in the morning. I'm all like "I should get up, get some chores and crafts done, start doing Wii Fit again." at 8 or 9 in the morning but my body's like "Nooo! Roll over! Comfy warm bed sleepy sleep" until 11 or 12. I dunno, I got up at 930 yesterday so there's hope for me yet. We'll see what happens tomorrow. G'nite!

WTF

So I emailed the head of the graduation department at Berklee asking about when they mail diplomas or if I had to pick it up. She tells me I still had to fulfill 3 history credits. I'm thinking to myself, the Professional Music chair, Kenn Brass, went through my whole transcript to make sure I fulfilled all the credits, manually overriding exception courses and everything - since I had to switch majors. But before I said anything in a reply email, I checked my graduation evaluation (EVAL) and it said I still needed to complete 3 credits in a history course. I'm like, what the fuck? Back when I took my required history courses, you could do, like, World Civ 1 and 2 or American History 1 and 2 or something like that, but then they offered prototype courses that you could take instead of World Civ 2, so I took a class called Gender and Power in History. That should've been credited for history, but what happened was Kenn stuck it in the required Liberal Arts electives credits. It's a simple mistake, it looks more like a Liberal Arts course than a History course.

The good news, it's an easy fix. All graduation department lady, Grace Aldrich, needs is an email with the clearance from Kenn to apply Gender and Power to the history credits and Japanese 1 to Liberal Arts electives and I'm 100% credit-fulfilled. The bad news is Kenn Brass is taking a sabbatical - he's taking the whole spring semester off. I don't know if he's checking his emails or not. But I just realized something - some Pro Music major always needs something done -a waiver, guidance, credit substitution, etc. Kenn Brass is probably the busiest department chair. It's just the nature of a versatile, catch-all major like Pro Music. His office waiting room was always packed during his office hours and he frequently had to extend his time so everyone could get seen. He couldn't be away from his office for a whole semester, so he either has to keep up with his email and remotely take care of things or have someone else in the department doing what he usually does. In the Music Ed department, chair Cecil Adderly had an assistant, Mary Deane, who took care of EVERYTHING. I don't know how she did it - and she remembered practically every Music Ed major's name too. So Kenn has to have someone like that running the department while he's gone for the entire semester, otherwise students would panic and things would fall into shambles. People who need to graduate in a semester or 2 need a waiver to get into a required class or else they'll lose their student visa and get deported because they have to remain above 5 credits or something like that...
So it should work out. Kenn or somebody will give the OK for the switch and Grace will put it through the system and I'll get my diploma when they mail them all out in February and I'll officially be able to say I have a Bachelor's Degree and I'll get a real job. I think when I frame it, I'm going to put it on a chain and wear it around my neck like Flava-Flav for about a week, just to prove I got it. Either that or I'm fucked - again. (and it's things like this why I keep sending in those Publisher's Clearing House entries even though it's a one in a billion chance...I want my $5,000 a week for life so I can pay off my student loans and finally move out!)

Today I'm got a few things I need to work on. Lesson plans - cuz I'm still aiming to teach private lessons, craft projects, reorganizing my DVDs, and trying to get back into doing Wii Fit. I also promised to drive Wig to work at 3. Then of course when I'm home in the evening, I never miss Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. I'm such an old person LOL. But I am AWESOME at these shows and I've actually applied to be a contestant on Wheel and am considering trying out for Jeopardy too. Then I'm going to New York and flagging down cabs 'til I find the Cash Cab.

Square: The Other Rectangle

Yay I got my car back! So last night, my dad comes home from work to tell me that when they took apart my car to fix the strut they found that both sides were fucked up. Then he says they looked all day for the parts and couldn't find them and there was one last place they'd have to look today. Well, today he found the parts. Then tonight he stops back home during a break from work and says "your car's back. The springs were the wrong size, but they were still able to fix your car. We'll discuss what you owe me later" and went back to work. So hurrah, the Awesomemobile is back in action (I need a better name for my car, that one's too corny). It's around $500 which isn't a huge kick in the ass but it'll still leave my wallet hurtin' especially next to student loan payments, cell phone, car insurance and credit card bills. But now it runs a lot smoother and no whup-whup-whup noise or excessive bounciness when I hit a bump or pothole.


The next order of business however is my side mirror. For some strange reason, it costs more than 3 times the amount of the mirror itself to repaint it because of a treatment they have to do to the plastic the mirror is made out of. My right side mirror cost $40 but to paint it was $150. Back when it was just my right side mirror missing, it was important to have it match the rest of the car. Now to replace my left side mirror, my dad asked if I'd rather pay $40 and have an odd black mirror or pay $190 to have it match, and if he'd known he wouldn't've paid to paint the other one cuz two black mirrors wouldn't be too awkward. At this rate I don't care, I mean it's just a mirror. It's not like I'm replacing a door or the hood and that'd be black and the rest of the car is "bronze mist." At least nothing is primer color on my car. At least the paint's not fading or peeling like on my old Grand Prix and apparently any other GM car from the mid-90s. Well, my dad being the perfectionist that he is, he'll either try to find a cheaper deal on the paint job or just go for the $150 paint job (I mean why does he care, I'm paying him back regardless) so the whole car matches.





But today I spent the whole morning cleaning: cleaned the birdcage, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, vacuum and dusted my room, laundry. Then I tried to get a hold of Flav but she's temporarily disappeared off the face of the planet. But Wiggy was home so we went to Wendy's and came back to my house to watch some movies. Then we were going upstairs to have some loving and that's when my dad came home with my car and exactly a minute after that my sister came home. I mean, that didn't stop us, cuz she's off doing her own shit on the computer or downstairs, but we put the TV on for background noise just in case we were...loud. I lit all my candles for a little mood lighting cuz I hadn't done that in a long time and it's nice. Y'know, we should do that when we're in Wig's room too, especially since he keeps blowing fuses. That's how damn good he is. No, I'm kidding, it's because his room and his mom's room are on the same fuse and for some reason plugging in a space heater in his room is the straw that broke the camel's back to the fuse.
Stand-up comedian Eugene Mirman looks like a cross between Jon Lovitz and that kid Josh from Drake and Josh on Nickelodeon. This is the best picture I can find of him but I see it more in his Comedy Central Presents special. Well, I think so. Regardless of what he looks like, he's pretty funny. I loves me my stand-up. Wig was saying how all he needed to do was land a Comedy Central Presents episode and within a year he'd have a 1-hour stand-up special and be a famous comedian (which you'll realize is true if you watch enough Comedy Central), so I says "Oh, now you're going to be a professional guitarist, a voice-over artist AND a stand-up comedian?" But no, he wasn't serious about being a comedian. He is serious about the voice-over thing though. While taking calls at work, a woman over the phone was like "Wow! You got a great voice! You should consider acting or voice-overs!" and stuff like that, and I told him that it's actually a great idea. So he's going to seriously pursue it. He's got a kinda deep voice (although for some reason people on the phone keep thinking he's a woman...) and he can do different voices (I'm a little concerned at how well he can pull off a gay lisp) and he can enunciate and speak clearly and all that important public speaking/elocution type crap. He can also sound genuinely enthusiastic and natural when he's saying something just to say it (putting on a fake friendliness during his years at GameStop) or while reading off a script or cue card. The only think he'd have to work on is covering up his Boston accent, which he should be able to do just fine, but maybe some vocal coaching would be a sound investment anyway. Maybe he can be like his heroes Billy West and Tom Kenny someday. Or at least do commercials and announcements. Plus it's the first thing besides the band and teaching private guitar lessons that I've seen him be interested in pursuing.

But back on the subject of stand-up, I can't wait for Demetri Martin's new comedy special in February. He's hysterical. But unfortunately, for now, I have to hit the hay because I gotta be at work at 9 tomorrow morning. Goodnight.

The Coupon Whore Strikes Again!

All my friends and family know I'm a coupon whore. 9 times out of 10, if you're going to buy something, I'll pipe up, "Oh, I got a coupon for that!" or "Let's eat here I have coupons." Every little bit I can save helps. And I love the fact that my employer - Toys R Us, is one of the few retailers that lets you use multiple coupons in a transaction as long as they're not duplicates. So I like to hoarde my coupons - especially because I get coupons from both the Rewards card and the credit card - for maximum savings. So with my discount, a $10 off and 3 different $5 coupons, I got a $30 Wii accessory for exactly $2.09 after tax.

Then one of my supervisors, Lars, always lets me know about other stores' sales, like if a specific game is on clearance somewhere or something. So today he told me that the FYE in Stoneham's Redstone Plaza is going out of business and everything's 50% off. So I'm, like, cool I can swing by there after work and check it out. I was hoping I could help Flav out and find Amelie but no luck. That movie's scarce. Anyway, I got out of work an hour early and hopped on 28 right from 95. I'd never taken that exit, so I didn't know how far up 28 I'd be but it was like Boom! Redstone. As I pull into the parking lot I spot an unmistakable lime green Saturn - Lars' car - and laugh my balls off. He left work at 3 or 330, I left work at 5. He was there for like, an hour and a half. Then he was there for another hour while I was there. He got a ton of music and I think some DVDs but he ended up spending, like $55. I myself spent $32.48 and got a pretty good haul - for my tastes at least.
Live Free or Die Hard: $4 (Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!)
Get Smart's Bruce and Lloyd: Out of Control: $6 (I just bought it to see Masi Oka's adorableness)
Johnny Dangerously: $5 (made back when Joe Piscopo was funny and before Michael Keaton was Batman)
Innerspace: $3 (Martin Short and Dennis Quaid in a Spielberg film)
Stargate director's cut editon: $3 (the cult sci-fi hit with Egyptian-looking aliens)
Insane Clown Posse: Riddle Box: $4 (Who's goin' chicken huntin'? we's goin chicken huntin')
Z02: Ain't It Beautiful: $6 (the band behind IFC channel's show ZRock about a rock band who in order to pay the bills doubles as a kids' band playing parties by day)

I know I probably shouldn't have bought that much stuff, but for those prices it was hard to pass up. See, I may be an impulse buyer, but I'm a cheap impulse buyer. I may buy a lot of games and DVDs, but they're always $10 or less, maybe $15 if it's worth it. Either that or I'll spend $30 or $40 but get over $100 worth of stuff. Although I am resolving to spend less on material items and eating out this year, so this'll be the last big purchase for a while.

Hey! Peter Boyle's in Johnny Dangerously! But I digress...

So I'm going to take my leave and enjoy my newly acquired movies. Mmm, delicious 80s cheesiness.

2000 Pontiac Grand Prix of Fail

Why does everything on my car have to break at the same time? So I've already mentioned the whole no side mirrors thing in a previous blog, but then the other night there was a weird warbling noise under my left front tire whenever I was in motion, and it would speed up and slow down in tandem with my speeding and slowing and would stop when I stopped. It also made a reverse-sounding sound when I was backing up and a weirder noise when I was turning left, so it was definitely tire-related. But I wasn't having any problems driving or braking so I drove like normal - to Peabody and back twice and everything - and it was fine. Until today when I was on the way to Flav's and that left front tire decided to go flat right on Glenwood St. So I wait about 20 minutes for AAA and when he got the flat off he discovered I had a broken strut and it was digging into my tire. So now my car is undriveable until at least Thursday when my dad's friend can start fixing it, maybe longer depending on how long it takes to fix. Fortunately, I can borrow my mom's car while she's in Florida, but she doesn't want me parking it on Harvard St so I can't go over Wig's. LOL. So yay, a $400-$500-something fix on top of all the monthly student loan payments. That's a kick in the financial ass. I'm sad...

LOL

OK, who designed the Wireless switch on HP Pavilions? It's a little toggle switch right on the front of the laptop that is just soo easy to slide against accidentally. A moment ago I almost shit my pants because I thought something was really fucked up because my wireless signal got lost and my computer couldn't find any networks, especially not my own wireless router which I am literally 3 feet away from right now. Then I noticed the toggle switch and moved it back to the on position with its welcoming blue light and everything was fine. I must've hit it when bracing the laptop to wiggle out the USB thumb drive that likes to get stuck. It shouldn't be that easy to accidentally turn off your wireless. Talk about design flaw...and user stupidity (a bad mix).

There are no available hours at work so I'm not working again til Thursday (ugh). I'm using up much of my Earned Time to pad my paycheck so at least I'll still get money. But at least I can use the free time to look into getting my teaching license, look into subbing jobs, finish my lesson plans for private lessons and the after-school theory class I proposed to Medford High, and other stuff I should've been doing but didn't have time to. And also get further along in some craft projects and put some more stuff up on Etsy and eBay. Oh, and finally go to the bank and deposit all the money I've been meaning to deposit for the past 3 weeks!

Right now I'm moving a bunch of pics and other files from my family's desktop computer to my laptop, something I haven't had a chance to do since I got it. It's going to be a little slow-moving because I only have a 512MB thumb drive. Once I'm done w/that I can get cracking on everything else I need to do.

Oishii desu yo

Tonight I got together with my friend/anime-convention-partner-in-crime Inyx and the gang for our New Years celebration. Since we technically work for Inyx helping her set up and sell buttons and other wares at the conventions, she also likes to give us all a year-end bonus. Last year was Best Buy gift cards, this year was dinner on her. It was me, Inyx, Catherine "Ninja Shuichi," Xaqu (Zack) and Inyx's boyfriend Chris from Maryland and we went to Bisuteki Japanese Steakhouse in Revere. Wig would've gone too but he had to do something for his grandparents tonight. My mom got a free copy of the Entertainment '09 coupon book at the most opportune time because there was a coupon for a free entree with the price of another in it, so I saved Inyx $23. It was that Benihana kind of thing, where there's a huge Hibachi grill on your table and the chefs come out and prepare the food right there with fancy chopping and flipping moves and onion ring volcanoes. Our chef was funny cuz he messed up a couple times and he was joking about it, like saying the shrimp was still alive and the lemons were bad. I thought the food was pretty good but Inyx and Chris are used to a much better Japanese steakhouse in Baltimore so they were disappointed. They give you a lot, though. You get a bowl of some Japanese mushroom and onion soup, then white rice, and then the dinner comes with whatever you ordered plus a side of shrimp, noodles and vegetables. The cocktails were pretty good too. I got one that had vodka, Kahlua, Bailey's, amaretto and milk in it. So while nothing to brag about, it was an interesting evening with decent food. I'd go again.

So tomorrow I'm working 930-130, one of only 3 days I got this week because hours suck right now. Everyone's hours are in the shitter, I think some of the people who haven't been there as long or have a more limited availability only got one day. Fortunately, we're able to pad our paychecks with our Earned Time hours, which are usually used for time off. At Toys R Us the Earned Time accrues pretty quickly, so it's not like a waste. (The first year I worked there I accrued enough Earned Time from January to July to take the entire week I went to London off fully paid, with leftover, so that's more than 40 hours in 6-7 months). As soon as I can physically have my degree and teaching license in my hands I can talk to Jim Devaney at the McGlynn about a teaching job. I'm so lucky to have a shoe-in in this economy. I should also look into substitute teaching in the meantime. Apparently Medford and neighboring cities - especially Arlington - are hurting for substitutes. It doesn't pay a lot though, $50 a day ($60 in Arlington), but if I'm doing subbing in the day and Toys R Us in the night and weekend then it'll make a bit of a difference. Plus it'll give me experience and further put my foot in the door. The only thing that's going to suck is not knowing if you're going to work until that morning and getting the call at like 630AM.

Anyway, I got to make some Brain Slug amigurumis to sell on Etsy. I got to look for patterns for some other shapes too. Probably go with animals and foods.

I think Gavin Rossdale of Bush has an oral fixation because he has a song called "Mouth" and a song called "Swallowed." Just something to ponder.

And on that note, I sign off. Until next time, stay bloggy.

Closing out '08 with Epic Fail.

In case you haven't already heard or were directly affected by it, all first-run 30GB Microsoft Zunes worldwide froze on New Year's Eve. The reason was faulty programming that didn't recognize Leap Day, therefore making the Zune think it was already Jan 1, 2009 and then for some reason not recognize the year 2009. So Zune owners across the globe were a combination of confused, shocked, pissed off and panicking because they didn't have their precious music. People were accusing Microsoft of purposely selling faulty hardware to force consumers into having to buy one of the newer model Zunes - most likely the 80 or 120GB because who's going to to downsize from 30 to 16, 8 or 4GB? Many were comparing it to the XBox 360's Red Ring O'Death and the problems with the first batch of Vista. Some have lost faith in Microsoft altogether. Lots of people, mainly the more technologically talented, were taking apart their Zunes to remove and reinsert the batteries to reboot it. If they were just a little more patient, they would've found out about the new update that was available the next day. It sucked that everyone had to go a whole day wihtout their music collection, but I think a lot of people overreacted. Although at first Microsoft wasn't saying much and tech support wasn't even working because of inundation of people, in the end they got the update out in around 24 hours and it was quick and painless. Still, it shouldn't have happened in the first place and it's pretty funny that such a juggernaut in electronics programming could fuck up something on such a grand scale like that. I mean this is a bigger mistake than Nintendo making the Virtual Boy...wait, I take that back. At least Zunes don't give you migraines, make you go blind, had only 13 games 2 of which were playable and force its creator to feel so ashamed that he quits Nintendo, placing him in a situation where he got hit by a car and died. (Google that shit, it's true. Guy's name is Gunpei Yokoi)

Anyway, my New Year's was uneventful. I didn't have any commuting issues on the way to work since it just started snowing when I left and it was still really light. My Zune was dead so I was forced to listen to the radio. It was OK cuz WFNX was talking about the best movie deaths and it was fairly entertaining. I wanted to call in to say the scene in Maximum Overdrive when the guy is pummelled to death by soda cans by the possessed soda machine and the first can nails him square in the nuts, but the line was busy then my phone died. Work was pretty slow and by the time I left at 430 the snow was almost stopped but the roads were still pretty shitty. It took me almost an hour to get home but the only problem I had driving was having to go really slow. Then I went to Wig's and we watched Step Brothers which is hysterical. But for some reason the cable wasn't working right so very few channels weren't working so we couldn't watch the ball drop. Instead, we watched SpongeBob cuz the Nicktoons Channel was, like, the only channel that was working. I didn't get any alcohol cuz I didn't want to fight through Kappy's horrendous parking lot in the snow. But we did get Domino's.

New Year's Day I worked and it was even dead-er. Then I hung out with Flav and crafted and watched Big Fish. If I'm not called into work I'm gonna hang out with her again, try to start walking again and probably watch another movie. I told work I could work today if they needed me cuz there are no hours right now and I need to get as much as I can. But they probably won't call me in. I'm going to have to use my Earned Time to pad my paycheck until hours go up again. This usually only happens for 2 or 3 weeks after Christmas, but in the past I've always still gotten plenty of hours because I'm spoiled rotten at that job.

Maybe That 70's Show shouldn't be aired on ABC Family. They have to put a "Some Content Not Suitable for Children" disclaimer at the beginning of each episode. This really isn't the channel for pot and sex references. I mean, it's owned by Disney. Besides, That 70's Show reruns are already on, like, 3 or 4 other stations.

Well, that's all for this post. I never know how to end these things except like, "That's it!" or "The end" or "Until next time..." It's dumb...

The End