Well, I've survived my first week home w/Shannon. So far, motherhood is easy but I know that once I go back to work and once Wig & I get our own place it's going to become a lot harder. But it turns out I'm a natural born mother. I adapted to having to take care of a newborn almost instantly. I thought it'd take a few days or even weeks to get used to the sleep deprivation, clean up a particularly messy poop without gagging, and learn the different cues and types of cries for hungry, dirty, tired or plain cranky, but from day one none of that was a problem. Shannon is a perfectly healthy and happy baby, and my family has been a very big help. I don't try to take too much advantage of their help because A) they work full-time and have their own things to worry about, they can't watch a newborn all the time and 2) I don't want to get spoiled or complacent and be unprepared once I move out. But when they're home they'll gladly take her long enough to let me shower and eat or take a nap or get some important chore done. My dad who's usually so serious, stoic and strict turns to mush when he holds Shannon. The man who said he wanted to be called "Sir" when we were discussing grandparent nicknames is now a self-proclaimed Grampy and he'll hold her and talk baby talk to her. He's quick to give her back the second she needs to be changed though. And my mom insists on getting in some quality time with her before she leaves or as soon as she gets home for work. Even my sister has to take her for a little bit. But she won't feed or change her either. She just likes to hold her until she starts to get cranky - or starts farting too much.
Wig comes by whenever he can and helps me out, but he's still getting used to the reality of fatherhood. He feels insecure in his ability to be a good father and feels uncomfortable holding Shannon or feeding or changing her. But he is making an effort and soon enough he'll realize he's doing a good job. I feel he'll connect better once she's a little older and more interactive - sitting up, cooing and smiling. Wig takes care of me, though, and that's just as big a help. But for most of the day once my dad leaves for work it's just me and Shannon and I've learned to adapt to doing a lot of things w/just one hand or to work quickly before she wakes up. Once she has a little more neck strength I can put her in the carrier and just strap her to my chest so I have both hands free. I wanted one of those baby slings but they're all either really expensive or really ugly. I think it's a more comfortable and intimate way to carry the baby than the traditional carriers, so hopefully I can find one that works for me at a reasonable price.
Shannon's slowly starting to get on a schedule. She's almost predictable. She'll eat every 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours and usually nap the entire time between. Every so often she gets the urge to cluster feed & want to eat an hour or hour and a half later, but she's more or less predictable. She rarely gets cranky or overtired; she almost only cries when she's hungry or needs to be changed or is being changed or bathed - she hates being naked.
They say to sleep when the baby sleeps, but I can only really do that at night. I have too much of a second wind and running on pure adrenaline to nap during the day. Plus it's the only time I can keep up with housework and other stuff. I'm slowly getting back into crocheting and am working on new amigurumi when I have the free time. Right now I'm working on Pac-man, Ms Pac-man and the ghosts, Chain Chomps from Super Mario and Kirby. I also want to do Metroids and try to make hat versions of some of my amigurumi, particularly the Brain Slug. I also want to make replicas of the kids from South Park's hats, although I know Kenny's is going to be a problem since it's actually a hood. I want to branch out and do actual craft fairs this year. It's going to be a matter of money and balancing it with taking care of Shannon. But I'd probably sell a lot more than I do at the conventions so it could be worth the investment and I can make extra cash to put away in a savings account.
But I'm loving every minute of motherhood so far. Sometimes it's frustrating and tiresome when she wants to eat again, or won't sleep and wants to be held indefinately, but it's worth it for that look she gives me when I'm holding her. A working schedule is developing and will be in place within weeks and I'll have a normal life again - just with added baby.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Birth Annoucement
Wow, I really suck at blogging. I promised I'd blog all through the pregnancy w/updates but working at the new Toys R Us Express really sucked up a lot of my time since I ended up working 8 hour shifts 5 days a week, then of course preparing for the baby, sleeping, squeezing in as much of a social life as possible, and other tasks. So it's understandable I didn't have the time to type up a blog. There wasn't much of interest to post anyway; my pregnancy was the easiest & most inconsequential pregnancy ever. Nothing happened. I found out it was a girl, I got a bigger bump, she moved around a lot. But the delivery is quite a story, so here I am finally blogging.
So Shannon was due on the 23rd. Everyone had bets on when she'd actually be born. My mom wanted her to come on her birthday, the 21st. The most popular prediction was Christmas Eve. Even a psychic my mom sees regularly said the 24th.
The 23rd came & went. So did the 24th and I got through Christmas Day without a twinge. Then at about 1230 in the morning on the 26th I got up to pee & had bright red bloody show. A mild cramping soon followed & we headed to the hospital. While I was under observation for about an hour/hour & a half they became definite contractions, not very intense but regularly spaced 5 minutes apart. However, my cervix didn't dilate at all and I was still at only 1cm so they sent me home to wait out the early labor stages.
Now a massive blizzard was heading down to us later that day, so we were dreading that my labor would intensify during the worst part of the storm. I took a warm bath and shower and was able to doze a little, but the contractions continued to come. They weren't so bad early in the morning - like menstrual cramps, maybe a little more painful, something I could easily grit my teeth & wait out, but as the day wore on and the snow started falling they gradually got more uncomfortable. The pain didn't get worse but the pressure against my rectum and pelvis were tough to sit through. I was contemplating whether I would be able to wait it out through the night & go to the hospital the next day during the tail end of the storm. So far, my water still hadn't broken and there was no sign of further dilation. Finally, more bloody show was appearing and the contractions were so uncomfortable that we braved the storm and headed to Winchester. The roads were treacherous & visibility very low, but we made it there safely & as soon as I was checked I was 3cm dilated. Finally things were moving along.
I was hoping I'd be able to hold out & have a natural birth, but the combination of pain & pressure from the contractions were getting to much and I broke down & got the epidural. I'm so glad I did. It made it so I didn't feel a single contraction and I was able to sleep. Well, I would've been able to sleep if I didn't have this thing where I never sleep well in other beds (I never fall completely asleep at hotels either). But I dozed enough. They had pull-out bed for Wig & he slept like a log the whole night.
My cervix continued to dilate steadily throughout the night but my water never broke. At about 7AM Monday morning the doctor broke my water and I began to try to deliver my daughter. It was tough. Sometimes I could feel the pressure and need to bear down w/the contractions but other times I had to go by the doctor reading the monitor that said when I had a contraction. I was pushing well, and I was expecting Shannon to come out any minute but after an hour of pushing the doctor checked her head position & said her head was not able to pass through the pelvic bone & molding was starting. On top of that there was meconium & I had a low-grade fever & infection so all those factors led to csection. I was wheeled into the OR and prepped. Wig looked so adorable in his scrubs. He was so fascinated with the whole procedure and the fact that I was so numb I didn't feel a single thing while they rooted in my wide opened stomach cavity. Then at 9:48AM, Shannon officially came into the world kicking and screaming, weighing 7lb 12oz and 20 3/4 inches long.
They wisked her away to Special Care to treat her w/antibiotics and it took me neary 4 hours to finally see my little girl. But it was worth the wait. Everyone sees a little bit of someone else in her. I think she has Wig's nose & ears, others say she looks like me or my sister. Some say she has my mom's chin. She already has quite the personality. I'm so glad I have her. She's the best Christmas gift I ever got.
So Shannon was due on the 23rd. Everyone had bets on when she'd actually be born. My mom wanted her to come on her birthday, the 21st. The most popular prediction was Christmas Eve. Even a psychic my mom sees regularly said the 24th.
The 23rd came & went. So did the 24th and I got through Christmas Day without a twinge. Then at about 1230 in the morning on the 26th I got up to pee & had bright red bloody show. A mild cramping soon followed & we headed to the hospital. While I was under observation for about an hour/hour & a half they became definite contractions, not very intense but regularly spaced 5 minutes apart. However, my cervix didn't dilate at all and I was still at only 1cm so they sent me home to wait out the early labor stages.
Now a massive blizzard was heading down to us later that day, so we were dreading that my labor would intensify during the worst part of the storm. I took a warm bath and shower and was able to doze a little, but the contractions continued to come. They weren't so bad early in the morning - like menstrual cramps, maybe a little more painful, something I could easily grit my teeth & wait out, but as the day wore on and the snow started falling they gradually got more uncomfortable. The pain didn't get worse but the pressure against my rectum and pelvis were tough to sit through. I was contemplating whether I would be able to wait it out through the night & go to the hospital the next day during the tail end of the storm. So far, my water still hadn't broken and there was no sign of further dilation. Finally, more bloody show was appearing and the contractions were so uncomfortable that we braved the storm and headed to Winchester. The roads were treacherous & visibility very low, but we made it there safely & as soon as I was checked I was 3cm dilated. Finally things were moving along.
I was hoping I'd be able to hold out & have a natural birth, but the combination of pain & pressure from the contractions were getting to much and I broke down & got the epidural. I'm so glad I did. It made it so I didn't feel a single contraction and I was able to sleep. Well, I would've been able to sleep if I didn't have this thing where I never sleep well in other beds (I never fall completely asleep at hotels either). But I dozed enough. They had pull-out bed for Wig & he slept like a log the whole night.
My cervix continued to dilate steadily throughout the night but my water never broke. At about 7AM Monday morning the doctor broke my water and I began to try to deliver my daughter. It was tough. Sometimes I could feel the pressure and need to bear down w/the contractions but other times I had to go by the doctor reading the monitor that said when I had a contraction. I was pushing well, and I was expecting Shannon to come out any minute but after an hour of pushing the doctor checked her head position & said her head was not able to pass through the pelvic bone & molding was starting. On top of that there was meconium & I had a low-grade fever & infection so all those factors led to csection. I was wheeled into the OR and prepped. Wig looked so adorable in his scrubs. He was so fascinated with the whole procedure and the fact that I was so numb I didn't feel a single thing while they rooted in my wide opened stomach cavity. Then at 9:48AM, Shannon officially came into the world kicking and screaming, weighing 7lb 12oz and 20 3/4 inches long.
They wisked her away to Special Care to treat her w/antibiotics and it took me neary 4 hours to finally see my little girl. But it was worth the wait. Everyone sees a little bit of someone else in her. I think she has Wig's nose & ears, others say she looks like me or my sister. Some say she has my mom's chin. She already has quite the personality. I'm so glad I have her. She's the best Christmas gift I ever got.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
So I finally told my parents today. They were more disappointed and concerned about financial stability than anything else. They said themselves they can't be mad, we're adults and at least I'm 25 and not 18 like she was. But they're worried about Wig and I holding down jobs and paying bills while raising a child. The news about my supervisor position eased a little bit of the concern, but it won't be enough. They feel bad that they can't support us the way my grandparents supported them when they were pregnant with me. But they'll be emotionally supportive and do what they can. My grandparents will throw some money my way. I'm not expecting the ride on their coattails. But they took it somewhat well, as well as one can when their eldest daughter who's not yet married, in dire finanical straits w/tons of student loan debt and still living at home tells you she's pregnant. They're secretly excited to be grandparents, I think, but the timing is bad and my situation could be better. At least it's not worse and it is slowly improving.
After telling them, I immediately posted it on FaceBook. I was dying to announce it to the world but couldn't because my mom would see. Perhaps I did it too soon because my aunt was the first to see and her reaction was "EXCUSE ME?!" my mom was like "Why'd you have to go announcing it on FaceBook already?! The phone's ringing off the hook!" Then later she pokes back in and says "Your father's calling all his friends" so he must be somewhat excited. But the outpouring of comments were 99% positive, all congratulations except for my aunt's incredulty and my "uncle" Chris was like "congrats? I'm going to be a great uncle!" A couple of me and Wig's mutual friends IMed me on FaceBook. Greg, who's in Afghanistan right now, was very supportive, Katie aka K-Fon was like "WTF?" and suggested abortion before I mentioned that our financial situation was improving, so she offered both her congratulations and condolences and let us decide which to take.
Wig told his brother and Guru and he said that Guru told him it was the worst time to have a baby and said "my condolences" which surprised me because as a father, I thought Guru would give Wig the old "It's a lot of hard work and scary but worth it" speech. My theory is Guru knows how Wig feels and said what Wig needed to hear. Guru's wife Lindsey was very excited for me on FaceBook. But of course, women and men handle pregnancy very differently. Wig said Gahmstead said more or less the same as Guru. While Gahm isn't one to be all mooshy about stuff like this, I was hoping he'd be a little more supportive while still voicing concern about finanical issues and how it would affect the band and everything else. Again, he's probably just saying what Wig wants to hear. I know that while Gahm is not one to immediately come off as a baby person, he was rather excited and involved w/Seamus' birth and seemed to revel in the fact that he was his godfather, so he's got a soft side. While he may think having a baby this soon is a bad idea for us, he'll probably be supportive and play his role as uncle. Wig hasn't told any of his other friends yet or his parents. I know the reactions are going to be mixed. But his friends and family are going to be the few people actively against this pregnancy. So far none of my friends have had a negative reaction and my parents, while concerned and disappointed, are not forcing me to abort it or put it up for adoption and are standing by my decision to keep it. We have more support than dissent, and that's a positive sign that things will work out for us. It's still going to be hard but I know we can work it out. People with less than us have made it, I keep reminding myself that. We have more than we thought we would've.
Training for my new supervisor position should start next week. I also have ConnectiCon next weekend. Then the Stoneham store is opening I think the 3rd week of July. It's going to be exciting.
After telling them, I immediately posted it on FaceBook. I was dying to announce it to the world but couldn't because my mom would see. Perhaps I did it too soon because my aunt was the first to see and her reaction was "EXCUSE ME?!" my mom was like "Why'd you have to go announcing it on FaceBook already?! The phone's ringing off the hook!" Then later she pokes back in and says "Your father's calling all his friends" so he must be somewhat excited. But the outpouring of comments were 99% positive, all congratulations except for my aunt's incredulty and my "uncle" Chris was like "congrats? I'm going to be a great uncle!" A couple of me and Wig's mutual friends IMed me on FaceBook. Greg, who's in Afghanistan right now, was very supportive, Katie aka K-Fon was like "WTF?" and suggested abortion before I mentioned that our financial situation was improving, so she offered both her congratulations and condolences and let us decide which to take.
Wig told his brother and Guru and he said that Guru told him it was the worst time to have a baby and said "my condolences" which surprised me because as a father, I thought Guru would give Wig the old "It's a lot of hard work and scary but worth it" speech. My theory is Guru knows how Wig feels and said what Wig needed to hear. Guru's wife Lindsey was very excited for me on FaceBook. But of course, women and men handle pregnancy very differently. Wig said Gahmstead said more or less the same as Guru. While Gahm isn't one to be all mooshy about stuff like this, I was hoping he'd be a little more supportive while still voicing concern about finanical issues and how it would affect the band and everything else. Again, he's probably just saying what Wig wants to hear. I know that while Gahm is not one to immediately come off as a baby person, he was rather excited and involved w/Seamus' birth and seemed to revel in the fact that he was his godfather, so he's got a soft side. While he may think having a baby this soon is a bad idea for us, he'll probably be supportive and play his role as uncle. Wig hasn't told any of his other friends yet or his parents. I know the reactions are going to be mixed. But his friends and family are going to be the few people actively against this pregnancy. So far none of my friends have had a negative reaction and my parents, while concerned and disappointed, are not forcing me to abort it or put it up for adoption and are standing by my decision to keep it. We have more support than dissent, and that's a positive sign that things will work out for us. It's still going to be hard but I know we can work it out. People with less than us have made it, I keep reminding myself that. We have more than we thought we would've.
Training for my new supervisor position should start next week. I also have ConnectiCon next weekend. Then the Stoneham store is opening I think the 3rd week of July. It's going to be exciting.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
PortCon!!
Just got back from PortCon Maine. I love this convention because it's close to home and very small and relaxing. The entire thing takes place in one hotel so it doesn't have the discombobulation of AnimeNEXT and the South Portand Wyndham is a great little hotel and it's conveniently located across from the Maine Mall and countless restaurants and businesses are within a short walking or driving distance so you can easily get good food instead of living off con junk and also grab last-minute purchases. The Artist's Alley closes very early for a convention - 7! - which gave us plenty of free time in the evening to go out to eat, relax in the pool, go to convention events or just veg out. A lot better than getting out at 10PM. Of course, the shorter hours and smaller foot traffic means we don't make as much money than at the other cons. PopCult always does well because no one can resist our buttons and they're the most affordable item in the whole convention. My own products didn't do as well. I only made $52 this weekend. But we had a lot of fun as we often do at PortCon because it truly is less stressful.
We left around 130 on Thursday and took 95 all the way up. It was funny because we passed Inyx on the way up and then blew past her as I have a lead foot. After realizing I was passing 90, I slowed down a bit and then got stuck in slowed traffic due to a downpour, yet I never saw Inyx catch up with us. Despite all that, she made it to the hotel before us, albeit literally a minute before us.
Wig and I had a HUGE fight as soon as we got up to the room. Despite how negatively he's viewing the whole pregnancy situation, we haven't straight out fought more than twice. We made up soon after between keeping up appearances as we set up the booth and genuine apologies. We had the room to ourselves most of the night because Inyx and her new girlfriend Alina went out to dinner alone and I was able to assuage his qualms about having sex with a pregnant woman and we had some much-needed make-up sex. Even though he says he won't want to have sex when I really look pregnant, he's not going to be able to resist. My libido's already starting to increase, imagine what it's going to be like in a few months. Wig was pretty quiet and withdrawn for most of the first day, but he slowly started to become his old self. He started joking a bit more and smiling and started playing guitar again and even made it to the final round of a Super Smash Bros Brawl tournament. But all these improvements are only on the surface. Every once in a while he'd still make some negative comment about the pregnancy and our future. It's a long, long road, but he'll soon see things will work out. They won't be perfect - not by a longshot - but we'll survive and we'll be happy and we'll still be able to do the same things we did before we had a baby. He won't be able to believe that until it happens though.
He's telling Gahmstead tonight. I wonder what he's going to say about it. I still haven't told my parents. I was going to tell them tomorrow but I have to close and will be at work before they come home so it'll have to wait until Tuesday. It would've been as awkward if I told them tonight when I got back from PortCon than if I told them last week then left. Plus we're going to need a lot of uninterrupted time to discuss what I'm going to do.
Anyway, I have a couple weeks to prepare for ConnectiCon, then a couple weeks after that the Stoneham store should be opening and I'll start my new full-time supervisor's position! I'm going to start looking for apartments soon. We might just stay in Medford for convenience but I'm going to actively look in Stoneham so we're closer to work, and also in Wakefield and Melrose. MAYBE Malden and Somerville but I'm not big on Malden (especially when you have to pay for "city garbage bags") and Somerville's touch and go depending on the neighborhood and the best neighborhoods like Davis and Ball Sq are probably a lot more pricey. Plus there's almost no on-street parking for visitors. I need a place where my friends and family can come to visit and not worry about being towed or have to park 3 blocks away. We might look for a 3-room so Gahm can move in too because everyone in that household wants to get rid of Susan and her drunken "I have cancer so I'm going to do coke and drink myself to death" mentality. That's if he's interested in living w/his brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (or niece).
So tomorrow when I go back to work I hope they have more news about the Stoneham store. It'll be good to be armed w/that info when I tell my parents I'm pregnant. Having a full-time, better paying and better benefits job will really soften the blow of how soon in my life this happened.
I'm off to finish uploading to flickr then off to bed. I'll post more when I have more news.
We left around 130 on Thursday and took 95 all the way up. It was funny because we passed Inyx on the way up and then blew past her as I have a lead foot. After realizing I was passing 90, I slowed down a bit and then got stuck in slowed traffic due to a downpour, yet I never saw Inyx catch up with us. Despite all that, she made it to the hotel before us, albeit literally a minute before us.
Wig and I had a HUGE fight as soon as we got up to the room. Despite how negatively he's viewing the whole pregnancy situation, we haven't straight out fought more than twice. We made up soon after between keeping up appearances as we set up the booth and genuine apologies. We had the room to ourselves most of the night because Inyx and her new girlfriend Alina went out to dinner alone and I was able to assuage his qualms about having sex with a pregnant woman and we had some much-needed make-up sex. Even though he says he won't want to have sex when I really look pregnant, he's not going to be able to resist. My libido's already starting to increase, imagine what it's going to be like in a few months. Wig was pretty quiet and withdrawn for most of the first day, but he slowly started to become his old self. He started joking a bit more and smiling and started playing guitar again and even made it to the final round of a Super Smash Bros Brawl tournament. But all these improvements are only on the surface. Every once in a while he'd still make some negative comment about the pregnancy and our future. It's a long, long road, but he'll soon see things will work out. They won't be perfect - not by a longshot - but we'll survive and we'll be happy and we'll still be able to do the same things we did before we had a baby. He won't be able to believe that until it happens though.
He's telling Gahmstead tonight. I wonder what he's going to say about it. I still haven't told my parents. I was going to tell them tomorrow but I have to close and will be at work before they come home so it'll have to wait until Tuesday. It would've been as awkward if I told them tonight when I got back from PortCon than if I told them last week then left. Plus we're going to need a lot of uninterrupted time to discuss what I'm going to do.
Anyway, I have a couple weeks to prepare for ConnectiCon, then a couple weeks after that the Stoneham store should be opening and I'll start my new full-time supervisor's position! I'm going to start looking for apartments soon. We might just stay in Medford for convenience but I'm going to actively look in Stoneham so we're closer to work, and also in Wakefield and Melrose. MAYBE Malden and Somerville but I'm not big on Malden (especially when you have to pay for "city garbage bags") and Somerville's touch and go depending on the neighborhood and the best neighborhoods like Davis and Ball Sq are probably a lot more pricey. Plus there's almost no on-street parking for visitors. I need a place where my friends and family can come to visit and not worry about being towed or have to park 3 blocks away. We might look for a 3-room so Gahm can move in too because everyone in that household wants to get rid of Susan and her drunken "I have cancer so I'm going to do coke and drink myself to death" mentality. That's if he's interested in living w/his brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (or niece).
So tomorrow when I go back to work I hope they have more news about the Stoneham store. It'll be good to be armed w/that info when I tell my parents I'm pregnant. Having a full-time, better paying and better benefits job will really soften the blow of how soon in my life this happened.
I'm off to finish uploading to flickr then off to bed. I'll post more when I have more news.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Donation Button
I added a PayPal Donate button as you can see on the right hand menu if you're feeling generous and want to contribute to the baby's upbringing. I'm not expecting a lot, even $5 or $10 added up will help. It'll go toward diapers, clothing, food, doctor's bills, or go into a college fund to accrue interest and grow. But it'll be strictly for the baby, not me and Wig. If you can spare a bit please click. I appreciate it.
First Ultrasound
I had my first ultrasound yesterday, and it turn out I'm already 13 1/2 weeks along! I'm due December 23rd. As much as I'm dying to tell my mom, I don't want to ruin this weekend. I can't drop a bombshell like this and then be like "Well, I'm off to Maine!" They'd either be like "You can't go to a convention! You have to save money for the baby and you shouldn't be travelling in your condition!" Then they'd be worried about me all weekend. If I tell them next Monday then we'll have plenty of time to sit down and discuss my course of action. I'm expecting more shock than anger. They'll be disappointed that I let something like this happen too soon, but they already know from personal experience that even when you're careful, accidents happen. I mean that's how I got here. So they can't be pissed at me. It's not like I did it on purpose. Their main concern will be my financial situation. They're going to ask how I'm going to afford to get my own place - because there's no room here for an extra baby and for Wig to move in w/me - and raise a child while trying to pay student loans. They don't have the money to spare to help support me but I know my grandparents do, but I feel guilty and selfish just assuming they will lend that kind of money, even though I'm sure I will. I'm already actively looking for a full-time job and I know Toys R Us will give me extra hours if they can spare them in the meantime - and if all else fails, there's that supervisor position at the Holiday Express when it opens. But I already have a response to one of my applications that looks promising. I had another call-back but it ended up a no-go as they were looking for someone with definitive classroom experience. At least they called back. Wig might have a lead at Stop & Shop. It's the dreaded "We'll call you back" period where you don't know whether they will or not. But they are hiring now, and last month when Wig first applied they called him in 4 times for mini-interviews before telling him they weren't hiring 'til June, so it's a better lead than some of the roads he's tried to take in the past.
The hardest part right now is dealing with Wig's depression and anger. He can't get over the fact that he truly believes he's just going to snap and that this is the end of his life as he knows it. No matter what I say or do I can't convince him that everything will work out for us, and that I know he's too good a person to become an abusive bad father. He's going to get worse when he sees the ultrasound picture and I tell him how far along I really am. He wouldn't let me bring it up last night. I know he'll come around, it's just how long before he does. Is he going to be miserable the entire pregnancy? I need him to remain his sweet, romantic self or else I'm going to fall to pieces. This is the happiest time of my life and I want nothing more to share that with him but he can't relate. I wish he could've been there for the ultrasound. It hurts that I was alone for my first glimpse at my baby. I just hope he's there for the first movements too - that they don't happen before we can move in together or happen at work or something. And of course he HAS to be there for the next ultrasound and when I find out the baby's gender. Which I'm convinced is going to be a boy. My first appointment with the ob/gyn isn't until July 19th so it's going to be a long wait. But so far I've felt fine and the baby looks normal on the ultrasound so I don't think I have anything to worry about. I think it's amazing that he's only 3 inches long right now but he already has fingerprints! No crime in the womb, they'll be able to track him. You could say he already has a big head like Wig but their heads are always larger at this stage of development. It might normal out as his body grows, we'll see.
I'm slowly telling everyone. It's tough to have to wait to let some people know but I've told Flav, everyone who was working yesterday, and all my online acquaintanes at Expansion Mansion and the CreateCrochet Etsy team. So far nothing but support and happiness. Wig is the only one against this pregnancy, so far. I'm sure some of his friends and relatives will have a negative reaction too, but the general consensus is that this is a good thing, just a little ill-timed but not impossible to pull off. I have the support of possibly hundreds of people so I feel secure. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I'm glad I won't be alone.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Long-Awaited Update, AnimeNEXT and News
Daaaaaaaaaaaayum I've been lazy/busy/forgetful/tired and haven't updated in FOREVER. This weekend was AnimeNEXT in Somerset, NJ. This was my first time driving that far, but everything went off without a hitch. We took 95 to 287 to avoid tolls and stopped at Friendly's in West Haven, CT for food and got to the hotel in about 6 hours. The ride back was going even smoother - we didn't make any stops and were flying through New Jersey and ConnectiCut - until we hit tons of roadwork in RI and MA. The return trip ended up taking about 6 hours too but it was at least an easy route - long but at least there weren't a lot of changeovers to other highways.
I've never been particularly fond of AnimeNEXT. It's not set up very well. 2 years ago when it was still in Secaucus it was horribly set up. That was the year that the Artist Alley was in a parking garage. The Somerset location does a slightly better job but it's too spread out. Last year it was in the Garden State Exhibit Center and the Doubletree Hotel, which wasn't a big deal because there was a handy covered walkway connecting the Doubletree and the Exhibit Center. But this year they added locations in the Holiday Inn and a training center across the street. It was too spread out. With Inyx in charge of the Artist Alley this year, the Artist Alley was better set up than last year. We ended up commandeering the entire corner since she was staff, so we had the staff table, 2 tables for our displays and then Sin's table for her studio. I can't believe I forgot to take pictures. It was impressive. Another beef with AnimeNEXT is there isn't much for quality panels or workshops. They don't get the best guests. They did have Greg Ayres this year, who is a very notable voice actor, but they usually don't get anyone bigger than that. The panels are usually lame. The only ones that are of any merit are the Bento and Sake panels but you have to sign up way in advance because they fill out so fast. The Adult Swim Revolution panel happens every year and it's great for Adult Swim fans who want to hear about new shows, see previews, find out what's been cancelled, what's coming back, what's on hiatus and just bitch about crappy shows and praise awesome shows. The panel is a mix of awesome and lame-ass bullshit. I've gone to it every year I've done AnimeNEXT - which is only 3 years, but so far it's progressively gone downhill. This year's panel went from talking about new seasons and new series to bitching about Family Guy and American Dad, and they barely talked about the new shows or any original Adult Swim content. Last year had a lot more information and the year before had free swag and I won a Murderface button by being able to correctly answer what Adult Swim's first time slot was. (I beat someone dressed as Space Ghost, that's epic)
But I think AnimeNEXT should've been renamed PokeCon this year as like, 85% of con-goers were cosplaying Pokemon, Pokemon trainers or Teams Rocket, Magma or Aqua. And everyone had PokeWalkers from the new DS games (mine took a nasty trip through the washer and no longer works, but Wig and Xaqu got plenty of items and Watts). Wig got lots of great pictures. I didn't get as many. I usually just take pics of the cosplays I like and if I got a picture of it at one con I usually don't take subsequent pictures unless the person did an exceptional job and it's extremely accurate or it's some clever twist on the normal character design.
Anyway, the Artist Alley wasn't nearly as busy as Anime Boston's. We still did pretty well. A small but comfortable $650 on Friday and a much better $800 on Saturday. I don't know the Sunday numbers because Inyx stayed to go to the staff after-party and we left early, so she hadn't counted it before we left. I myself only made $76, a far cry from the $101 I made at Anime Boston but still decent for some crocheted dolls and guitar pick earrings. Someone bought 3 of my $12 amigurumi on one sale - both mushrooms and the Dragon Quest slime. The mini Brain Slugs were the star this time, trumping their full-size counterparts. I don't know how PortCon will fare, it's a much smaller and less busy convention but I think people are a little more willing to spend on handicrafts there.
In other news, I'm pregnant. It's kind of shocking. I never expected it to happen this soon. Everyone who knows me knows how badly I want a baby, though, and I'm more happy than nervous. Part of me wishes it isn't happening now, but part of me is glad I no longer have to wait. I can finally experience pregnancy and have the baby I always wanted. I was kind of getting sick of a lot of my friends and old classmates having kids before me. I felt like I was being left in the dust. Me and Wig's friends Dan and Lindsey just had their 2nd baby, and Katie and Fetus (another Sean, everyone goes by nicknames) had Seamus in January. Not only was I jealous of people having what I want and couldn't have, I was disappointed that our kids would end up being far apart in age. Now they'll be close in age and get to play together. Wig isn't happy. He's convinced he'll be a horrible father just like his father and thinks he'll end up doing something bad that'll cause me to divorce him, kill him or have him arrested. I know him better than he knows himself and I know he is too sweet, caring and too desperate to not turn out like his parents and that he'll come out fine in the end. I don't know how we're going to manage raising a child right now. I'm confident in help from my family and friends. My parents don't have money to spare but my grandparents do, and I bet some of my friends will donate some of their old baby things. I have a lot of my old baby furniture down in the basement that is still useful and of course there's the baby shower. Finding full time work is gong to be tough. Wig is still having trouble finding a job, but I think Stop n Shop will work out if he just follows through, and he's finally expressed interest in going to school to learn a trade. I wonder if he pulls the "my fiancee is pregnant I really need a job!" spiel if that'll get him a job out of sympathy. Now that I'm not doing the Census I can finally focus on applying for full-time jobs again and I'm trying for some entry-level government jobs because even if you don't have any experience if you at least have a Bachelor's degree they'll train you. My aunt also knows someone with a music teacher job opportunity on the South Shore. She's going to give him my contact info and I'm just waiting for an email or phone call with the info. I haven't told my parents yet. I'm waiting until after PortCon, because if I tell them now, they'll either forbid me to go or bitch and moan that I'm going to another convention when I should be saving money for the baby and shouldn't be traveling and doing convention-type things when I'm pregnant. Plus I don't want to stress them out like that then take off like that. I don't know how I'm going to bring it up. But I'm going to tell my mom first because she'll take it better. They're going to freak out at first because it really is too soon. I'm not too young - I'm 25, which I think is a good age to have a kid (my goal was always between 25 and 30 for my first) - but working part-time with an unemployed fiancee and we both still live at home and have less than $700 between us isn't an ideal situation for having a child. But they won't forget that they were in the same boat when they were younger than me and that their parents supported them and helped them out. It could be a lot worse. Plus once they get over the initial shock and we figure out how we're going to work this out, they'll start to gush over the fact that they'll be grandparents. My sister is going to refuse to look at me during my 2nd and 3rd trimester, though - she's weirded out by pregnant women. All in all, I'm amazingly calm right now considering the news. It's surreal though. I'm still having a hard time believing it really happened and it happened so soon. I don't even feel pregnant yet. But it must be meant to be, so something good must be coming from it somewhere down the line. I'm not too worried yet. I'm determined to find away.
I've never been particularly fond of AnimeNEXT. It's not set up very well. 2 years ago when it was still in Secaucus it was horribly set up. That was the year that the Artist Alley was in a parking garage. The Somerset location does a slightly better job but it's too spread out. Last year it was in the Garden State Exhibit Center and the Doubletree Hotel, which wasn't a big deal because there was a handy covered walkway connecting the Doubletree and the Exhibit Center. But this year they added locations in the Holiday Inn and a training center across the street. It was too spread out. With Inyx in charge of the Artist Alley this year, the Artist Alley was better set up than last year. We ended up commandeering the entire corner since she was staff, so we had the staff table, 2 tables for our displays and then Sin's table for her studio. I can't believe I forgot to take pictures. It was impressive. Another beef with AnimeNEXT is there isn't much for quality panels or workshops. They don't get the best guests. They did have Greg Ayres this year, who is a very notable voice actor, but they usually don't get anyone bigger than that. The panels are usually lame. The only ones that are of any merit are the Bento and Sake panels but you have to sign up way in advance because they fill out so fast. The Adult Swim Revolution panel happens every year and it's great for Adult Swim fans who want to hear about new shows, see previews, find out what's been cancelled, what's coming back, what's on hiatus and just bitch about crappy shows and praise awesome shows. The panel is a mix of awesome and lame-ass bullshit. I've gone to it every year I've done AnimeNEXT - which is only 3 years, but so far it's progressively gone downhill. This year's panel went from talking about new seasons and new series to bitching about Family Guy and American Dad, and they barely talked about the new shows or any original Adult Swim content. Last year had a lot more information and the year before had free swag and I won a Murderface button by being able to correctly answer what Adult Swim's first time slot was. (I beat someone dressed as Space Ghost, that's epic)
But I think AnimeNEXT should've been renamed PokeCon this year as like, 85% of con-goers were cosplaying Pokemon, Pokemon trainers or Teams Rocket, Magma or Aqua. And everyone had PokeWalkers from the new DS games (mine took a nasty trip through the washer and no longer works, but Wig and Xaqu got plenty of items and Watts). Wig got lots of great pictures. I didn't get as many. I usually just take pics of the cosplays I like and if I got a picture of it at one con I usually don't take subsequent pictures unless the person did an exceptional job and it's extremely accurate or it's some clever twist on the normal character design.
Anyway, the Artist Alley wasn't nearly as busy as Anime Boston's. We still did pretty well. A small but comfortable $650 on Friday and a much better $800 on Saturday. I don't know the Sunday numbers because Inyx stayed to go to the staff after-party and we left early, so she hadn't counted it before we left. I myself only made $76, a far cry from the $101 I made at Anime Boston but still decent for some crocheted dolls and guitar pick earrings. Someone bought 3 of my $12 amigurumi on one sale - both mushrooms and the Dragon Quest slime. The mini Brain Slugs were the star this time, trumping their full-size counterparts. I don't know how PortCon will fare, it's a much smaller and less busy convention but I think people are a little more willing to spend on handicrafts there.
In other news, I'm pregnant. It's kind of shocking. I never expected it to happen this soon. Everyone who knows me knows how badly I want a baby, though, and I'm more happy than nervous. Part of me wishes it isn't happening now, but part of me is glad I no longer have to wait. I can finally experience pregnancy and have the baby I always wanted. I was kind of getting sick of a lot of my friends and old classmates having kids before me. I felt like I was being left in the dust. Me and Wig's friends Dan and Lindsey just had their 2nd baby, and Katie and Fetus (another Sean, everyone goes by nicknames) had Seamus in January. Not only was I jealous of people having what I want and couldn't have, I was disappointed that our kids would end up being far apart in age. Now they'll be close in age and get to play together. Wig isn't happy. He's convinced he'll be a horrible father just like his father and thinks he'll end up doing something bad that'll cause me to divorce him, kill him or have him arrested. I know him better than he knows himself and I know he is too sweet, caring and too desperate to not turn out like his parents and that he'll come out fine in the end. I don't know how we're going to manage raising a child right now. I'm confident in help from my family and friends. My parents don't have money to spare but my grandparents do, and I bet some of my friends will donate some of their old baby things. I have a lot of my old baby furniture down in the basement that is still useful and of course there's the baby shower. Finding full time work is gong to be tough. Wig is still having trouble finding a job, but I think Stop n Shop will work out if he just follows through, and he's finally expressed interest in going to school to learn a trade. I wonder if he pulls the "my fiancee is pregnant I really need a job!" spiel if that'll get him a job out of sympathy. Now that I'm not doing the Census I can finally focus on applying for full-time jobs again and I'm trying for some entry-level government jobs because even if you don't have any experience if you at least have a Bachelor's degree they'll train you. My aunt also knows someone with a music teacher job opportunity on the South Shore. She's going to give him my contact info and I'm just waiting for an email or phone call with the info. I haven't told my parents yet. I'm waiting until after PortCon, because if I tell them now, they'll either forbid me to go or bitch and moan that I'm going to another convention when I should be saving money for the baby and shouldn't be traveling and doing convention-type things when I'm pregnant. Plus I don't want to stress them out like that then take off like that. I don't know how I'm going to bring it up. But I'm going to tell my mom first because she'll take it better. They're going to freak out at first because it really is too soon. I'm not too young - I'm 25, which I think is a good age to have a kid (my goal was always between 25 and 30 for my first) - but working part-time with an unemployed fiancee and we both still live at home and have less than $700 between us isn't an ideal situation for having a child. But they won't forget that they were in the same boat when they were younger than me and that their parents supported them and helped them out. It could be a lot worse. Plus once they get over the initial shock and we figure out how we're going to work this out, they'll start to gush over the fact that they'll be grandparents. My sister is going to refuse to look at me during my 2nd and 3rd trimester, though - she's weirded out by pregnant women. All in all, I'm amazingly calm right now considering the news. It's surreal though. I'm still having a hard time believing it really happened and it happened so soon. I don't even feel pregnant yet. But it must be meant to be, so something good must be coming from it somewhere down the line. I'm not too worried yet. I'm determined to find away.
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